Saturday, the space was set for the workshop.
While I won’t share debrief the full experience publically, I will share what most impacted me, what I am still processing, and what work there is to carry forward.
Redefining femininity and motherhood for those who are on a childless path. For me, it is a profound notion. And as women, we carry all of our experiences with us. Some of us have chosen not to have children, some of us tried for years and expended every resource we have, some had miscarriages, some live in what is defined as unconventional relationships, some lost adult children, some are looking for other ways to care for a child in need.
Each one of these experiences carries its own weight, its own nuances, emotions, work. And, at the core, we are all still women.
For me, I needed to shake loose the boxed notion of femininity and motherhood. Femininity, these days, is considered in a negative light. And the judgments of not having children are even more detrimental.
Barton and I still dream of being parents one day. But it’s not in the way we had dreamed when we first met. And at the moment, we are living without children. Our energies are being called elsewhere. And, we still very much dream of being parents one day.
I am still all of the aspects that embody femininity and a mother, creating in this world. As women, we have many aspects, too many to list here. I loved being able to redefine femininity and motherhood in a new way.
I was able to pull out words and concepts, look at how these different aspects are still very much alive.
And yes, I still grieve and acknowledge the sadness. There are trigger points in daily living. I would be amiss not to acknowledge these spaces.
And, I am still creating in this world!
The most profound experience for me was a dreaming visualization of feeling pregnant. For me, as a woman who experienced physical organs removed, who will never feel physically giving birth, this was highly moving and healing.
What is waiting to be born, still in its cocooning state?
What is it within me that is wanting to be shared in the world?
And, here’s the most surprising part of the day.
I had fun!
Who knew, right? Hysterectomy, childlessness, navigating another path, it has always been so grief laden, heartache filled, tears streaming down the face emotion. How much time and energy was spent grieving.
And this day was filled with laughter and fun!
Who knew that talking about being on a childless path could include laughter, silliness, awkward crazy aspects, dance, fulfillment. Fulfillment. You mean, I could still feel fulfilled in life?
For this space, I was able to drop the volatile and heart wrenching emotions, even just for a moment to crack open the doors of feeling that I bring value to the world, that I am valued for who I am, that there is a purpose in being, that there is self and service fulfillment, and there is joy in my path.
Yes, since my trip to Durango, I have felt the pangs of sadness and grief. AND, I know that my energy can create beautiful amazing things in this world. Things that I’m not even aware of and don’t even know yet.
When we were finished with the day, we gathered and enjoyed the most aromatic, flavorful, delicious Indian meal in Durango.
Each taste awakened the taste buds.
Awakened the soul.
For a new path, one full of creation.
Recent Comments